4th of July

Happy Birthday America!

We had a really good Independence Day yesterday. In past years, we never really got together with family and friends consistently on the Fourth, and we would go to the big firework shows at nighttime. This year I decided I really wanted to stay home and just have a family celebration.

My parents and inlaws wanted to get togther, and since I'm located in the middle of all of us, I suggested we meet up at my house. So, we did. We have a swimming pool and new patio furniture, so it was the best place really. All the kiddos went swimming and played while the adults sat on the back covered porch sipping drinks, while my husband cooked lunch on the grill. Other than the flies, it was perfect.

It was a flurry of activity during the morning! Lots of cleaning, cooking and of course with me, decorating. I took zero pictures on purpose- I just wanted to enjoy our time and not be fiddling with my phone or camera. I did some quick improvising of Americana decor around the house with my Dollar Tree purchases and stuff I had stashed away!

We had grilled bratwurst and hot dogs, grilled fresh corn on the cob, potato salad, baked beans, deviled eggs, lots of fresh veggie salads, chips and dip, homemade sauerkraut, homemade ice cream and an awesome lemon berry trifle and assorted drinks. Oh, and a watermelon...yes quintessential American summer bbq fare. I did not make all of it myself because everyone who came contributed.

I worked really hard the day and morning before the party so that I could spend the rest of the day chilling. Late in the afternoon, after everyone left except my best friend, it was a lazy group of people all  full of food and tired until dusk. Then my husband ran to the firework stand because most of the time you can get good deals when you wait. When he came home he made a fire in the campfire pit so we could make s'mores. As we started lighting up firecrackers, we could hear everyone else doing the same, all around us. We were all united, celebrating our country's birthday and our freedom loudly!! We could even see some of them high in the sky.

By the time we got to the end of our own personal show, everyone except the firework man was in the pool watching my husband light the fireworks. My 8 year old daughter said, "This is the best fourth of July ever!" Ha ha, that's great because that was my goal. It was just us, in our not awesome to look at but we like it pool, lighting cheapo fireworks, but the feeling I had wanted to capture was there. My friend said, "I'm lounging in a swimming pool that's the perfect temperature, a toasted marshmallow is melting in my mouth, I'm with my favorite people who are all happy,  I'm watching pretty fireworks and I just saw a shooting star. This is the best fourth of July I've had in probably 20 years!" Success! God blessed us greatly!

I did remind the girls what we were celebrating, because they needed a refresher, and that got them really excited. I told my husband he should of dressed up like Samuel Adams and read the Declaration of Independence, but he didn't think that was a good idea. (He is Mr. Drama and is so good at acting, so he would have been good, but it was hot and sounded stupid)

So, now we're in July! Wow, summer is flying by...I gotta finalize school stuff soon, but I really just wanna relax and be in summer mode. Today, well, I did a whole lot of nothing! I was wore out from all the party stuff, so this morning I watched a movie, did light housework, then floated in the pool for awhile, then made dinner and ate, then had a date with my husband and that's it. It was nice.

Grain Free Meal success

In my grain free cooking adventures this week, I finally cooked something really good. A week ago I wasn't grain free nor planning to be. I have turned my nose up at all the paleo-grain free people out there, especially when it seemed every real food blog or website I came across was geared towards eating without grains. I have done low carb diets in the past with no results, and then when I started eating them again, I gained weight.

So to be honest, I am fat. But I'm probably the healthiest fat person out there, as in, I've worked SO hard for the past 8 years to get rid of the weight. I've tried everything except hire a personal trainer or run a marathon. I have spent a lot of money on things that just didn't deliver as well. So, I didn't want to jump on this paleo fad thing for those reasons.

But, I do think I have an overgrowth of candida, and they need sugar to live. So, in order to cut off the food supply I have to not eat anything that turns to sugar in the body. But, since I am also taking something called diatomaceous earth which kills candida and other parasites, I don't think an extreme diet will be necessary for many months. My plan is try to stay grain free until August, then work into eating gluten free grains, then on to regular. My hope is that some weight will be lost, but that's not my goal, and that helps take the pressure off. I'm really at peace with it, and it hasn't been stressful for me.

Now just because I'm not eating grains doesn't mean I'm only eating meat. I'm still eating plenty of veggies, berries, some sweet potatoes and squash and if I'm in a situation where nothing else is available, I'll eat a little starch. Yesterday we took our girls to a waterpark and I ate as grain free as possible, but I did eat some bread and chips to give me a little energy boost midday. Oh well, I did actually lose 5lbs in one day though!

So today I made something good I saw somewhere online. It was cheeseburger spaghetti squash. Then I made a hamburger type salad with a condiment dressing and it was so good! I was really hungry too though...but my husband loved it, so that makes two of us.

 

Cheeseburger Spaghetti Squash

Ingredients:

Approximately 1.5lbs ground beef

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/4 cup chopped green pepper

1t garlic powder

1 T McCormac hamburger seasoning

salt and pepper

cheddar cheese-1 cup

 1 small-medium sized spaghetti squash

 1-2 T ketchup

First, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cut your squash in half and remove the seeds and junk. Place cut sides down into a pan with sides. (I used a casserole dish that was oval shaped) Pour in about 1/2inch of water and bake for 30-35 minutes. 

Next, brown your beef, add the seasonings and veggies and cook through. When squash is done, take it out of the oven and let it cool until you can touch it. Using a fork, scrape all the squash threads into a bowl. Next add your meat, the ketchup and the cheese. Refill the squash with the mixture and top with some additional shredded cheese. Put back in the oven for another 15-20 minutes. 

For the salad, I chopped some green leaf lettuce, sliced some fresh garden tomatoes, some white onion and chopped up some hamburger dill pickle chips. For the dressing, I just guessed here, but this is what I think it was:

Condiment Dressing

2 T mayonnaise

1 t yellow mustard

1 T ketchup

1 T honey

2 T apple cider vinegar

salt and pepper

garlic powder

2 T olive oil

I put it all in a small mason jar and shook it up to combine. It was mildly sweet and tangy-perfect for me. It was good enough for company!!

Today I also tried coconut flour pancakes, which were ok, but not awesome. I also made some brownies with sweet potato and coconut flour- those were a yes!! I may post those later as I get them perfected :)

Homeschool This and That

I know I'm posting a lot, I feel like I have a lot to catch up on. In the past I was very open about my life and that went fine, but then I went under fire for awhile for some things that I said, and I just became more reserved about personal thoughts and beliefs. I think that's part of why I just quit blogging altogether- what's the point of doing it if I'm nervous about other people reading it and lashing out at me? I just lost the desire.

Anyways, I feel more at ease sharing my personal life again. I am reaching a place of "I don't care what other people think of me" attitude, because that, deep down, is having a fear of man. Why should I fear mankind? If God is for me, who can be against me? No, what matters is what He wants and pleasing Him, not people. It's taken me a long long time to get to this place.

So, not very many people know yet that we are going to homeschool again. I just don't feel the need to mention it unless it comes up. If I broadcast that we are homeschoolers to people we don't see a lot, then I'll get lots of questions and concerns, I'll answer them, but it's tiring to have to defend myself a lot. Most people are kind and receptive, but I still think it's a personal decision and I'm just picky about who I tell in person. At this point my parents and inlaws know, my friend knows, and my sister who isn't really supportive knows. She's not ugly about it, but she is a teacher in our school :)

And now the internet knows.

So, I have finally finally gotten our homeschool room back! I don't have pictures yet but I will. It was a process, because we had to put all of our girls into one bedroom, which meant we needed to buy bunkbeds, which meant we needed to save money for those and so on...

Last night my husband put together our new set of beds and they are all four in one room. The walls of the room are newly painted and clean. I plan to make everyone a quilt and some curtains, but that's a long term project. I've been working on the other room all week. I don't know if I want to paint it or not...the walls are pretty dirty (they are white) from living here for five years, but then painting is a lot of work! I still have a bathroom to do, so I may just get out the magic erasers! Anyways, I've only just begun getting it organized and all that.

To most parents, what I'm going to say will probably not sound smart. My decision to homeschool is based on this: Jesus is returning soon. The signs are all there, every minister I listen to is preaching it, including my pastor. If He is coming, then is it really the most important thing for my girls to spend their days away from me studying how to pass a state test?  These are just my thoughts and conclusions by the way, how I arrived at my decision. What is eternal? What is the one thing that they can learn here that will be with them eternally? A relationship with God is the only thing. So, our focus is to teach them God's Word, how to listen to Him and talk with Him, how to praise and worship Him and how to walk by faith.

That is it. The Holy Spirit is a genius, and He can fill in any gaps if and when they need it. Should we homeschool their whole school lives, as long as they can read and do math they can learn whatever they need to know. It is my goal and focus to not get stressed or burned out by academics. I've already been there and done that.That's not to say that we won't have a plan or any kind of schedule. But when the going gets tough, I need to remember the purpose. When that's in front of me, it's a whole lot easier to press through difficult moments. The truth is, I love my children dearly and most of my life is about them. I spend most of my time feeding them good food, cleaning up after them, sewing or knitting for them, spend most of our extra money on them and so on. But, I get weary of someone needing me all the time. I am the type of person that needs some space and some quiet or I get really stressed. Especially with my oldes daughter Leiah, she hovers over me all day, and I just don't want to be touched after awhile.

So, I need to be able to step back and breathe! I know myself, and need to set things up for success. For me that means my physical surroundings need to be nice to look at, which is why I decorate everything, It's just too much mental clutter if something is ugly or messy. I can't start cooking a meal if the kitchen is a mess, just doesn't work. I tend to procrastinate, so I need to plan ahead and get things ready in advance. That was not something I did well before and I gotta make new habits. This is why we are working on this now in June because I want the whole summer to prepare. I am also not a morning person, and in order to get some personal time alone in the morning before I have to talk to anyone or do anything, I have to get things done the night before and get up earlier than everyone else.

I am slowly working on these things, trying to to be nice to myself and again, set myself up for success. I'm doing all the food changes now with plenty of time so that when it's time to start school, I'll have these new changes down pat. Baby steps LOL.

And because my posts are so long, anything I was going to write about our curriculum choices and all that will have to go in the next post!

Real Food 2

Ok so to continue what I was talking about yesterday- food changes. This morning I took some pictures of stuff I've been doing, because if you're like me, I like to see what other people do in their homes. I guess I'm just really curious, or nosy, but curious sounds nicer.

So, I'll start with breakfast. Last night I made some mostly grain free granola. I've made granola a lot, and even though it usually turns out well, this time it wasn't perfect. I didn't use a recipe or measure, and got a bit too much coconut oil in the mix. And then it slightly burned. But here it is:

 It is a combo of coconut, cashews, almonds, pecans, coconut oil, honey, cinnamon and vanilla. After I finished baking it I added lots of dried berries. For breakfast I put some in a bowl, topped with plain full fat yogurt, honey and blueberries from our local farm. Pretty good!

So, sitting around in my kitchen I have a crockpot full of homemade chicken stock that I started yesterday. No pics...I also have this! A new thing I'm trying- homemade probiotic soda.
 (this picture looked better before I uploaded it, sorry it's dark. It's a pretty pink color)

Up close of the bubbles which I was really glad to see since it meant that my ginger culture worked!

 The ginger 'bug' or culture that I started last week, which is how you make the soda.

 I learned about it here and used this recipe.


In the fridge I have lacto-fermented sweet pickles. My husband's parents have an abundance of cucumbers, and my plants didn't do so well, so they  have passed them on to me. I found this recipe, not sure where I got it I just searched for sweet fermented pickle recipe and found one. They taste pretty much like a sweet pickle.

And then I also make dairy kefir. Kefir is so cool because one it's very easy, and the friendly bacteria it creates actually go into the digestive tract and take up residence. Yogurt is more of a 'keep it clean and tuned up' but kefir helps repopulate the gut with the good bacterias that help keep us healthy. I made it for a long time and then when pregnant, it repulsed me and I quit. It's taken me awhile to get back into it, and I mainly use it in a fruit smoothie or a replacement for buttermilk. The 'grains' are very healthy and active!

Not pictured is my sourdough starter. I will get that out later today and feed it, which gets the culture active and get it ready for bread making. I use a white flour starter at this point, and will gradually make a whole wheat sourdough bread, but I'm still slowly introducing all this stuff. So, for now it's white sourdough bread.

Today is a very big day. I have been growing cabbages for months, waiting for those things to get big enough for homemade sauerkraut. My whole family- cousins,sister,parents etc.- loves the homemade kraut and have been anxiously waiting for this LOL. Today is the day- I'm straining my yogurt to get the whey that I use to help the good bacteria proliferate and keep the bad from growing. In awhile I'll go dig these up and wash them and start the sauerkraut making process! Yay it'll be ready in time for the 4th of July bratwursts and hot dogs.

The purple or red cabbages aren't quite ready yet. I'll leave them and pray the grasshoppers leave them alone! Our garden is in sad shape...really sad. But I have to say that this is my husband's domain, and he's been busy and a little negligent...my plants however look pretty good! A few years ago this was not possible, I just killed everything, but for some reason I seem to get it now!

My plants- a red geranium that I revived, my second basil plant, some kind of begonia that got revived and an aloe vera that was at death's door but has made a miraculous recovery!

The front yard plants. We have lots of shade and for once I made good plant choices! They have done really well and I have actually remembered to water and fertilize them:)

And in all fairness, here is my peppermint plants. I haven't neglected them, but they aren't doing great. I think they need bigger pots but I don't have any and keep forgetting to get more.

Here are some of the things I got in my box of veggies from our local farm- giant green tomatoes! I guess in typical southern fashion, I should fry them. But I don't really remember what they taste like. I found a recipe for a vegetable relish that use green tomatoes and I might do that, at least with the big one. The ripe tomatoes are ours.

Today I'm also working on some herbal stuff that I'll blog about another time. So what are my children doing during all of this? Their cousin is over and they are playing dress up, legos, school in our school room, and making lots of rubber band jewelry. I am basically just feeding them and then they run off to play. Swimming is coming up shortly I'm sure!

So, there's a glimpse into my abnormal kitchen concoctions. We like it.

Getting back to Real Food

A long time ago, approximately 8 years ago, I and my family were suffering from several health issues. I had been into more natural health and eating years before and I knew the connection between food and health. I discovered a book called Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. Wow! It was chock full of info that I had never heard before. It took me several months to read it, and I slowly began changing not only what we ate, but also the way it was prepared. I was pretty nervous about some of it, but I desperately needed help.

I was dealing with Irritable bowel syndrome, among other things. At the time, I felt like if I didn't get this fixed my life would be over. I first began having symptoms when I was 21, after the birth of my second child. I went to see a gastroenterologist, a past colleague actually, and his diagnosis was that I need to take an antidepressant and exercise. Thanks.

How that was supposed to help really bad diarrhea at inopportune times I don't know. So I came home, cried, and also prayed for God to show me what to do. Immediately I did an online search and found a doctor who used herbs for everything, ordered his stuff, and things were on their way to getting better. One of the things that learned about was probiotics, and I began taking supplements. However, they were really powerful and sometimes exacerbated the intestinal issue. When reading Nourishing Traditions, I learned about living probiotic foods, or lacto-fermented foods that people used to make hundreds of years ago. They didn't have refrigeration, so there had to be some way to preserve things right? They ate naturally fermented sauerkraut, yogurt, even meats like corned beef and Asian fish sauce. Since then I've noticed that I do so much better when I eat the living bacteria rather than supplementing with probiotic capsules.

Of course that's only part of it. The other big part was saturated fat! The big no no---turns out our bodies need the fat in dairy products, meats, eggs and things like coconut oil. The things that taste really good :) Also,in the book it describes properly preparing whole grains, which means predigesting or soaking  to make them more digestible. So, I started all this years ago, fell in love with it and all was good. I didn't really lose weight, but my body looked leaner and more proportioned, not to mention things like IBS disappeared. (One thing to note, I was also standing on the healing scriptures God promised us in the Bible. The diet changes helped a LOT, but ultimately, Jesus did it)

When I became pregnant with our fourth baby girl, I kinda lost steam. I could barely function at all, much less do all that food prep. I did get back into it later and ate as well as I could while pregnant. Even with all that saturated fat I didn't gain any weight until the last few weeks, and was very lean. After she was born, it became a huge burden. All I could manage was the homemade formula in the book for her, and a few other things. It was so stressful I had to just let it go. This turned out to be a good thing. I needed to focus on the Lord, and let Him be our Source. I needed to learn to eat healthy not out of fear, which is what I was doing. I've tried here and there to 'pick it back up', but could never find a good rhythm. I still cooked from scratch, but that's it, no culturing or anything-and we have been healthy! I learned what He wanted me to see.

But lately I've felt a calling come back to this lifestyle. I've slowly, slowly began getting back into it. The cool thing is that this has become so popular, that now I'm nearly surrounded by grassfed meat farms, raw milk dairy farms and local vegetable farms. There's a brand new huge health food store nearby, there's all kinds of stuff available on amazon, and now I don't sound so weird. We also have our own chickens, although egg production came to a halt when something broke in and ate them, the chickens that is....anyways.

I'm doing this in a certain way though; if at any point I get stressed out about food, I will just stop and not focus on it for awhile, and allow God to lead me. There's no point in getting wore out from food preparations. I've been on a low carb diet that stressed me out so much, that after 3 months, I had lost zero weight and had no health improvements! Stress negates any of the good things you are doing.

This time, I am also going grain free. I am not a fan of low carb diets, but the only reason I am doing it, is because I think I have candida overgrowth in my body. I am taking a supplement (diatomaceous earth, more about that later) that kills the candida, but reducing their food supply should help too. They eat sugar, so anything that converts to sugar is out as well. I only plan to do it for a short time, because I believe whole grains are good for us. But it's kinda fun to experiment, and I really feel relieved and at peace about it. And, if I am really wanting something starchy then I'll eat some.

So, all that to say, that I've had a lot going on in the kitchen today! Since it's summer I have the luxury of spending a lot of time going around picking up food and spending lots of time in the kitchen, which I did. It was fun, the girls were great, and it was adventurous driving around getting food. The whole time we're driving, I'm talking to them about what we're doing and why, so they're getting an education too.

Wow, this is a long post! I guess I'll continue in another post...

Texas Talk

Wouldn't you know I start a blog and the computer gets a virus! Yay my techie husband got it resurrected and we're back in business here.

So, I live in Texas. I don't live in any of the well known prominent typical Texas towns or cities. I live in the eastern part, called the Piney Woods, a couple hours south east of Dallas. Thankfully, where I live, I have no pine trees. They can be a mess! But I like pinecones.I do live in the woods basically, there are trees all over our property that we need to cut down so we can have both more sunlight and more yard.

I am a proud Texan. I don't wear boots in the summer, or own a cowboy hat, or have anything remotely western at all in my home. I mean, I live here, I don't have to adorn my house with all things Texas- I'm in Texas. I do plan on getting a metal star to put on the outside of our house eventually, and maybe plant some bluebonnets. I do have an accent- big time. My husband, who was born and raised in the upper peninsula of Michigan, now has an accent. He's lived here long enough that it's part of him too. We are not fans of country music at all. Typically people view most Texas as gun owners, and for us that would be true.We absolutely are Texan when it comes to food! On any given week we are eating something at least once with chili powder or hot peppers. Our main purpose for growing a garden was fresh homemade salsa, which we have had in abundance.

Typical Texas Food (not a comprehensive list)

Breakfast burritos
fried okra
fried squash and green tomatoes
peach cobbler
blackberry cobbler
chili beans (spicy pintos)
CORNBREAD
biscuits and gravy, usually sausage
Any and all tex mex
bbq brisket
smashed potato salad, no chunks of potatoes
black eyed peas with hamhocks, or peas of any kind really
chicken and dumplings (these dumplings are rolled and cut like egg noodles)
dressing, not stuffing, made with cornbread that we eat any time we feel like it
Iced SWEET tea
watermelon and cantaloupe
sweet potatoes in any form
fried catfish

I'm sure you can get this stuff pretty much all over the south, but growing up, these were the things I ate in most people's homes.I myself don't fry things much, and I really like more experimental sophisticated flavors, but we sure do love tex mex here. I made chili last night and have been gradually getting the girls used to chipotle- super hot-and the one that is most sensitive to pepper told me it was really good. Yes! Mission accomplished ha ha. I still haven't mastered tortillas, and our grocery store sells freshly made ones, so we eat those, and they are good!

So, today, I will make dessert with some beautiful ripe local peaches that we've all been waiting for. Not sure what yet...and I will be slicing our homegrown tomatoes and topping with basil and olive oil who hoo! I will finally make a pitcher of beloved sweet tea for everyone (been trying to reduce it some) and we will eat chili leftovers that probably taste amazing now that it's been sitting in the fridge.

Also another great thing about Texas is the homeschool laws. Basically all I have to do is tell the school I'm homeschooling and that's it. There are no records or requirements. The state of Texas views homeschoolers as a private school. Done. I am still keeping some records though just in case, but talk about freedom.

And like many other Texans, I am astounded at how on this day, June 24th, it's just not that hot. In fact we haven't had much really hot weather at all. It's confusing because we're all prepared to be miserable and roasting by the end of May, and it's been raining a lot....nice, but different. We actually have to wait until afternoon for our pool to not be freezing to swim. I know it will eventually get hot and the swelteringly hot summer will be here. Of course, if  I want my fall garden, that's when I have to start planting!!

There are some not so great things about Texas, one of which is the heat. It stays hot hot until October, then gets milder and sometimes a cold snap happens in October. We have lots of mean bugs- fire ants, mosquitoes, ticks, chiggers, wasps (just google Texas bugs)...poisonous snakes, locusts, various varmints... (ok a varmint is anything small like opossum, raccoon,armadillos, squirrels, rats, rabbits) coyotes, foxes, probably some wild cats. East Texas weather can change rapidly and drastically. It's not unusual to have the heat on in the morning, the air conditioner on in the afternoon, and the heat back on at night. Mild and temperate is not what we have here- many extremes!
Almost every year, in August-September, we really question why we still live here. It's that hot. But, overall we're glad to be here. In just our small area, there many world wide ministries headquartered here. There are lots of great churches and a lot of religious freedom in the public schools and businesses. The local stores play Christian music, allow churches and youth groups to have fund raisers, and in my town, a fireman was injured badly back in January, and the ENTIRE town posted signs in their yards and businesses that said 'Pray for Joe'. And we do, and he is doing well!

So, this is just a random post about me I guess. I plan to have some more purposeful ones coming up about homeschool plans, food etc.

Special Family

I have never really written about this before, but I kind of feel like it needs to be said. There are many families out there like mine. They have several children, maybe they're all girls too, they have good family and moral values, maybe some of the same interests like raising food or homeschooling. But I can guarantee that most people do not live what I live each and every day.

My oldest baby girl is special. I didn't know until she was four, but she was born with a rare chromosome oddity. It's called Trisomy 9 and is so rare there is hardly any info on it. I've been very careful over the years how I say this, because we do not identify ourselves with this genetic problem. I have never joined any kind of support group or anything, because I believe in the healing power of the Lord. I believe the verse in Isaiah 53 that with His stripes we are healed.

Before I conceived Leiah in my womb I prayed for her as often as I thought of it, and for all my future children. When I did become pregnant I prayed daily over her. I was barely 20 years old when I conceived and therefore declined any prenatal testing to determine if there were abnormalities. It wouldn't have mattered anyways, we were going to have her regardless of what tests may have said. It wasn't until we were in the 5th month that the doctor noticed she wasn't growing like most babies and we started doing more testing. Still, we didn't know anything except she wasn't growing rapidly. My first pregnancy became a high risk one. But, our prayers were answered because not only did we make to full term, but she was healthy. She had some feeding issues, but other than that she was great.

Anyways, we have encountered many challenges in her life. Though visibly she is not completely restored yet, God has done miracles in her already. She had a hole in her heart heal up on its own, she had an eye that was crossing in that healed, never had the typical joint or kidney issues, her immune system is amazingly healthy and she hasn't had anything serious at all. She was two when she learned to walk and has always been able to understand us well. Leiah is now 11, and she is still struggling with speaking and potty training.

Imagine if you will, a little girl who looks like any other, and you are talking to her only to realize she isn't speaking back. It's confusing, because she doesn't appear to be any different THANK YOU LORD!!! She has no physical deformities like many do. Or, noticing that it appears that this 11 year old girl has a diaper on...what about other children younger than her noticing these things and bluntly asking questions about it. Her feelings have gotten very sensitive and she gets them hurt easily.

This is where we are now. Every morning, since summer started, when I get up she is there....hovering at my side ALL DAY! She tries at every moment to snag my phone and take pictures :) It's funny but gets old quick because she has ruined other electronic devices and I do NOT allow her to use my phone. If she gets upset, she takes it out on her sisters physically, so they don't want to play with her much because they aren't sure if they will get pinched or hit. She has gotten a lot better, but she still will do this when provoked. If she gets in trouble with me, then she also gets very emotional and I have to set her apart for awhile to calm down. She needs lots of help...she needs help getting dressed, fixing her hair, showering, I have to go with her to sit on the potty, buckle her seat belt, get her toys in plain sight for her because she doesn't like to be away from me at all, cut up her food, help her wipe her face etc.

This may sound like I'm complaining. I'm not really, just being honest about the challenge of this day in and day out. Think about this- for 11 years I've been wiping her booty. She is just now starting to be able to tell me when she needs to go and do it on the potty. This has been so frustrating for all of us over the years, and this is where her going to the special education program has helped us. They have helped me get her into a pattern and awareness that she needs to use the potty. They have taught her 200 american sign language signs that we can communicate with. Leiah understands me, but has a hard time speaking to me. Imagine having an 11 year old that you can't talk to about their thoughts and feelings, their likes and dislikes, what they want to be when they grow up and so on. Constant guesswork.

I know that I am not the only one with a special needs child and many have a lot more to deal with than me, but I know everyone around us has forgotten and doesn't realize how challenging life can be for us sometimes. We have to rethink going to the beach or a waterpark because Leiah gets overstimulated and they don't make swim diapers big enough. She needs more sleep than the others. She tolerates change less well :) As her body is changing, her moods and emotions are changing, yet she can't tell me what she is feeling. Some days are very very emotional, and others are fine. I never know what's coming.

But, here are the things she can do. Leiah can fold clothes! And she can wash dishes. Many times I find her finishing the dishes I put in a sink of soapy water. She can feed the dog and cats on her own, and get the dog to do his tricks. Somehow, she can take really good pictures with my forbidden phone! She can write her name, and tell me what her signs mean. She can follow instructions pretty well, as long as they are in her abilities, and is very good at detail cleaning the floor. She can swim and go under water. Leiah can put her clothes on if I make her, although it's slow and unhappy :) At church she will actually participate in children's church and even stands in front of church with our announcer lady. She goes up to church members and hugs them. She can dance, pretty well too, and loves music. She likes to be pretty and play dress up- she loves clothes shopping, and purses and all things girly. She has a weakness for gum and hand sanitizer ha ha. She can play the wii like a pro, and can even use the laptop to play Starfall.com now!! I'm so impressed!

Leiah is special, she is so loved by our family, church friends and her school friends. She is overall, sweet and content, and easy to please. She is human though, with weaknesses, like all of us. I never once thought I would ever have a child like this and neither did my husband. We have had to learn a lot, and much of it was unpleasant. But I am thankful she was born into a family of faith. Who knows what she would be like if she hadn't, and she has a bright future.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11